The First Words Spoken

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It has taken me a long time to find the right words, or any words for that matter.

My sister had an indescribable energy about her. She was that person who would walk in to a room and you would just instantly be drawn to her; she had a light that shined through her - you wanted to hear what she had to say, be a part of whatever she was, laugh at whatever she was laughing at. She was the “life of the party” – she was the center of our whole world. Ce also had the sass of a 6 year old; which she never quite grew out of, but that is one of the things I loved about her the most – her sass, sarcasm, and humor. Every memory I have with her involves us laughing until we fell on the floor crying. She was a prankster, enjoyed laughing, and making others laugh. She was comfortable in her own skin and confident in herself and in whatever she did - I always admired her for that.

Ce was always doing something - always finding a way to better herself and always experiencing new things. She truly did live life to the fullest. She always made a point to tell me that I wasn’t doing enough; that I needed to do more in life. According to her, “A day where you do nothing is a day wasted.” Her drive always made me strive to be a better person and will continue to. She had an appetite for something bigger than herself.

Ce, thank you for always being there for me when I couldn’t be there for myself, for cheering me to my greatest heights, for consoling me whenever I fell down, and for always standing up for me. Thank you for always answering my hysterical 3 AM phone calls to tell me “everything is going to be ok,” for being my advice giver, my secret keeper, and my partner in crime. Most importantly, thank you for not only being the best sister a girl could ask for, but for also being my best friend.

You made me so proud to be your older sister and I will continue to be proud for the rest of my life.

Saying that you will be missed is an understatement. We still had so much left to teach each other, so many more inside jokes to create, laughs to share, and secrets to tell. I had always thought that I would be able to see you grow into the beautiful, successful woman that you were meant to be. Now it’s my turn – my turn to pick up where you left off. It is my turn to get off my ass and try to make a difference in this world. I don’t know how yet, but I will find a way to take some good from this; I promise you. I promise to change the world with your story. I promise to keep living life for both myself, and more importantly for you. From this moment on, everything I do will be for you.

There is something that Ce found to love in every one of us – that is something we need to remind ourselves when we look for her. We can look to the stars at night and we can look into the eyes and hearts of everyone who ever knew Ce and find a little piece of her. In that sense, she will live on forever.

You didn’t get your full time here on earth, but my god did you leave your mark. You were free, alive and full of life in your own world and it was beautiful to see. I love you so much, my strong warrior.

The fact that you’re no longer here will always cause me pain, but you’re forever in my heart until we meet again.

Your Big Sister,

K